#InstaMama Answers: Should Real Women Do The Post-Baby “Bounce Back"?

Alright, real talk: Mamas need a break. Our crazy society expects women to "bounce back" to their pre-baby bod straight away — but the reality is that recovering from childbirth is really flippin’ HARD.

According to #instamum and ex-pro athlete Libby-Jean Hay, we need to ditch the idea that Mamas should be “supermodel skinny” 72 hours after giving birth. We trust her judgement too, because Libby-Jean knows a bit about discipline. She started figure skating at 3 years old, and became New Zealand's youngest Ice Fernz player at 17. As a young Mama, Libby-Jean learned that her body had a whole new set of responsibilities to deal with — which mostly involved keeping a little human alive. Her take? New mums have to cut themselves some slack.

Music to your ears? We thought so. We’ve brought Libby-Jean here to share her down-to-earth postpartum philosophy, and we think you’ll enjoy. Much love!

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TRUST THE PROCESS

Alright team. Let’s face it. Media buzz about the size of Kim Kardashian-West’s post-baby bulge makes aggressive dieting and crazy weight loss seem like normal post-birth behaviour. But “snapping right back” shouldn’t be a top-tier priority for new mums. Truth be told, getting back to a pre-pregnancy weight is probably going to take at least 9-12 months. Sure, you’ll lose about 5kg of baby/placenta/fluid during birth. But for a while, you’re still going to look kinda... pregnant. 

That makes recovery a long-term game. I’d know! My son is 9 months old, and it wasn’t until I stopped breastfeeding that I began to lose weight. Today, I’m still 5kgs away from my goal. Along the way, logistical AND emotional challenges have cropped up. If my partner gets home late — or I’m just too tired to move — I know I won’t get to the gym. But I’ve learned to be okay with that. After a while, I realised that my “bounce back” was going to be a slow and steady process. I just had to trust it, and stick with it!
 

LEARN TO BE PATIENT

If you’re one of the 99.9% of new mamas who don’t have an army of personal trainers/nannies/private chefs on call, recovery is definitely going to demand your patience. While breastfeeding, I struggled to lose my baby weight. It was hard to accept the fact that there was no “overnight recovery pill.” Turns out, I needed to be patient with myself. My hormones were all over the place, my muscle tone was gone, and my ability to get a good night’s sleep had been completely wiped out.

That’s why I think it’s SO important to take time to heal and rest. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t rush into my old fitness routine too quickly — I think I’d probably have injured myself. Our babies (bless them) scramble our organs and do some crazy things to our brain chemistry, so don’t fret about thrashing the gym to “get your body back” or training for a half marathon until your body is actually ready.

THE PROBLEM WITH SHAME

Shame. It’s a dirty word, right? But when I became a mum, I immediately started comparing myself to other women. Scrolling through Instagram, it seemed like all the Mama-goddesses I followed were slipping right back into their skinny jeans. In my coffee group, a lot of girls were also “bouncing back” to their pre-baby bodies waaaay faster than me. I let myself feel like a failure. How had they lost so much baby weight? Why hadn’t I?

While “New Mama” head game isn’t easy, you can’t shame yourself into getting fit, or losing weight. Sure, looking good in your Lululemons is great... But what’s the point if you haven’t learned to love yourself? As a brand new mum, I had to learn to shut down the voice in my head that said “You aren’t thin enough!” and “You aren’t beautiful anymore!” I had to heal mentally — as well as physically — and I had to stop pitting myself against other women.

My final word: Try to give yourself some grace, Mamas. Whether you’re at the start/middle/end of your fitness journey, you’ve got this!

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